• AC

To the love one that doesn't get enough credit...


Happy Valentine's Day, my love... and Happy International Epilepsy Day! 🤘🏼

Every day we attempt to show each other how much we care and love each other... not just on this cheesy love day. However, this man holds many roles in my life and let me tell ya, he doesn't get enough credit... I mean, he should literally be showered with so much love and appreciation on a daily basis. Why? Well, let's talk about caregivers...

Caregivers do not get enough credit...


We often discuss how Michael is my caregiver and how he doesn't see himself as one. Probably because he doesn't have to bathe me, feed me, and wipe my butt... YET! However, he does do so much for me. So much for our family. So much and he doesn't even know it. He has also selflessly taken on the possibility of me having early onset dementia at 45, so in just 11 years! This would impact his life too, honestly more than mine because I'd have no idea what was going on. When the doctor gave us this diagnosis, he never made me feel like he wasn't going to stay by my side. He did everything he could to make me feel loved and complete... he supported me and when I wanted to run for the hills, he told me we were in this together!

Let's back up a bit...


Back when we received the news from the doctor that I had gained a TBI with irreversible mild short-term memory loss + cognitive memory loss, with the possibility of early onset dementia at the age of 45, I was 31 and Michael was 35(ish). Clearly that did not leave us a lot of time together before this could start impacting our lives. At this point we had only been together for about 3 years. Why would he stay? Why would he want to take this on? This is too much!

I did everything in my power to push him away. Telling him that he didn't need this. Telling him that this would be too much for him or anyone else to take on. Telling him that it's not fair to him to take this on. Telling him he should just move on with his life now before this gets to be too much and people judge him for leaving. Telling him he should leave now before I am shitting my pants at 45. Y'all, I was so defeated and felt like I was dragging him down with me.

Every single time we would have these conversations, or really meltdowns by me... he would always tell me that he doesn't look at it that way. He loves me and wants to be here to help if need be, but to just be supportive. He has always told me he does not look at me or my medical issues as a burden, and that he wants to be by my side while we overcome these obstacles. He held me while I cried, told me things would get better, and has always been by my side to celebrate every damn win! He literally picked me up from the darkest moments of my life... and still loved me.

He's the real MVP...


After the diagnosis came in October of 2019, we encountered some really dark days. At the time, I was attempting to get licensed in real estate... YUP! With a concussion, STILL, and just getting a diagnosis about a TBI and memory issues; I was pushing for a real estate license. I failed that damn test not once BUT twice! This was possibly the biggest blow to my ego and where the spiral started. (A blog for anotha day.) At this point, I started drinking A LOT! I had never failed a test like this before... and did not know what to do because I had no study skills as I was used to a pictorial memory. The person, not Michael, that I was talking to about it told me "you aren't the only one with memory issues... you need to get over it!" only a few weeks after the diagnosis! Yeah, she's a gem! I felt very alone, lost, scared, and like I had no damn idea what I was doing. I left my 9-5 to do real estate and even after passing the exam, it was absolutely miserable! Hated every thing about it. Well now what?

Well, Michael being the MVP he is, was there to support me. He always told me everything was going to be okay and we would figure it out. He has known that a 9-5 no longer works with my mind + body, so this is our option... entrepreneurship. after 18 months of real estate I came home and said... "I'm gonna do it. I'm going to be a coach!" His response solidified that this was the right path. His face lit up and he was just as excited as I was. It was like he knew this was what lit my soul on fire! His response is what has given me all the courage to step into this role without fear. His response is what has given me the ability to grow into this new me with a TBI,
health + wellness coach, influencer, and to tell my story! He has given me the strength to not give up on myself + my dreams.

That's not all...


back when we received my TBI + memory diagnosis, I was determined for this to not be my reality. Michael has supported me through some very expensive trial and error brain supplements, has footed the bill for nootropics + other brain supplements + brain gym... just to see if they would help. Just to see if it would do for me what it has done for others. He never once complained about the cost. He never made me feel guilty for asking to try something new, and when it came down to coming off prescriptions and managing epilepsy holistically, he never complained that the cost was a little more. He has always stated that he wants to do what is best for my health and if that means paying a little extra to do it, then we would figure it out.

It's his willingness to always want to try. Him never making me feel guilty for the costs of these things. It's the fact that he always wants to be supportive and lift me up to show me that no matter what... we are in this together!

There is no question...


for me, because without him, I would not have been able to overcome all of these obstacles as quickly as I have and with such confidence. Knowing that his love and support is always there gives me the strength each and every day to battle epilepsy, a TBI, memory issues and to laugh in the face of early onset dementia.

The thing is, he has his own problems. His own career goals + aspirations. His own obstacles to overcome in life, just like everyone else. This is what makes him so damn special, and other caregivers like him. Caregivers often times have to put their wants and needs on hold because the one living with a wild ass medical issue is having a flair up or their medical needs are too expensive. We have been faced with this a few times, and he has never once made me feel bad about it. It's always an obstacle for us to get through together. We are a team.

While I do support him in his dreams + aspirations; I will never, ever be able to pay him back for this. Even writing this blog post doesn't give him and other caregivers the praises they deserve. There are no words, amount of money, or things that I could shower him with to show how appreciative I am of him being by my side over these last 3 years. Happy Valentine's Day to the absolute love of my life! Happy International Epilepsy Day... while you aren't an epileptic, you know exactly what we battle every day just to exist. I love you more than you will ever know and appreciate every damn thing you do for me!

You are the real MVP!


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